You can't cheat death... but you can profit from it.

Funny the things you stumble upon when you're doing Internet-based research. Some of it is valuable... some of it is disturbing.

I never had this problem when I was a kid. If I needed to know something about the White House, I went to the library and plopped down at a table with the Encyclopedia Britannica. That was so 1970's. Now, just about anything you want to know is just a few key strokes away on Google.

Take, for example, the research I was conducting recently on mortality rates in the airline industry. The first page of the search results contained everything I needed to know. But, just out of morbid curiosity (pardon my pun), I went to the second page of the search results. I now wish I hadn't done that.

There I found a site called You Bet Their Life. It is a site dedicated to a game that "provides cold, hard cash for cold, hard stiffs." I envisioned that you actually bet on which month of the year that someone is going to die... sort of like a horse race. "I'll bet $2 on Aunt Edna in the seventh." If she wins (or loses... depending on your perspective), then someone stands to make some moolah.

Imagine if there was a link to another page for tips on how to improve your chances of your "prospect" winning. (It took me a long time to come up with the word "prospect." I could not think of a really good term to use for that person whose death you are gambling on). Since you are prospecting on their death... I guess that makes them a "prospect."

Ok... the list for how to improve your prospect's chances of dying... and thus, you winning.

1. Serve them bacon three meals a day.

2. Ask them to help you re-create how Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity.

3. Tell them raw hamburger is the new sushi.

4. Offer to take them on vacation with you... help them get on the airplane... then you get IN the airplane.

5. Take them to Spain for the running of the bulls and when it's ready to start, ask them to go across the street and buy you a Latte.

(Want to add to the list? Post your suggestion in the comment box at the end of this rant.)

It may seem cold and calculated to bet on someone's death, but from a purely financial perspective, it makes better business sense than playing the lottery. The chances of winning the PowerBall jackpot is 1 in 195 million. The chances that someone will die is 1 in 1 (a guaranteed payoff). If you have a life insurance policy on yourself, you're already playing the game (you sicko!) Unfortunately, winning that game means you're on the shuttle bus to the marble orchard.