When it comes to my kids' birthdays, I really enjoy the idea of having a celebration and buying gifts. In fact in their younger years (and I still have one in that range) there are typically more than one opportunity for a party and, of course, getting gifts. There's the "family" celebration... consisting of mom, dad, and the siblings enjoying a nice dinner, followed by a cake, that song, and the presentation of a few gifts. Then there is the "friends" celebration, consisting of a well-orchestrated party, usually at a venue designed for them to enjoy games and festivities followed, of course, by cake, that song… again, and more gifts. It’s the kind of things childhood memories are made of.
However, when it comes to adult birthdays, I tend to be far less enthused about all the pomp and circumstance of the celebration and my choice of gifts transition from the “wants” of childhood to the more practical “needs” of adulthood. So where is all this going?
I was recently in a discussion with a friend of mine and I asked what his plans were for the weekend. “I’m going to Chicago.” My friend travels quite a bit for work so it was my assumption this was another one of those trips… long on work, short on fun. After further inquiry I learned he was taking his significant other (read: live together but still too nervous to actually get married) to Chicago to celebrate her birthday. I know it’s a violation of the unwritten gift-discussion protocol, but I had to know… so I asked: “How much is that costing you?” He explained he got a really good deal on a package that included airfare, hotel, meal vouchers, show tickets and a couple of gift cards… $600. They’re DINKs (Dual Income No Kids) so money’s not an issue for them. But still…
The instant I heard this panic set in. My mind started to scheme a way to keep my wife from finding out there are guys out there who would spend this kind of money, and maybe even more importantly, give up an entire weekend, just for a birthday. What excuse could I offer to her for this completely irrational behavior? How could I get her to understand that practical, reasonably priced gifts, like the $39 pancake griddle I bought here last year from Target was MUCH better than that gift my friend had given.
I know, I would just be honest and share my logic with her. In guy world, the measure of love when it comes to gift giving is practicality. The more the gift fills a “need” instead of a “want” the greater the display of love and devotion. It might work. We have four kids. My wife makes breakfast for us every Sunday morning… a tradition she started many years ago. About two months before her birthday the pancake griddle broke, leaving her to deal with the arduous task of cooking pancakes for six in fry pans. This doubled the time it took her to cook breakfast and, quite honestly, the pancakes just didn’t taste as good (which led to the withholding of accolades from the family units about how good breakfast tasted). I could see the angst on her face every Sunday. It was painful to see each time I came into the kitchen to refill my coffee mug. The gift of a pancake griddle would surely score a victory on so many levels. Mom=happier. Kids=happier. Dad=Hero. See, it was an easy decision.
To instill my ethic of practical gift buying, I took the kids with me to Target to pick out this culinary device of family pleasure. As we perused the selection, they locked in on the Black & Decker Family Sized Griddle. It was entirely too large for the counter space we have to work with (read: too expensive). If I was going to be that extravigant, I'd might as well just take her on a trip to Chicago! I tried to convince the kids that the Kitchen Selectives electric griddle would suffice and would be a much more practical purchase (read: cheaper). I told them it was much more in-line with what mom would like. Debate ensued. They argued “but the larger model has a warming tray underneath to keep the pancakes hot until they are ready to be eaten. Did the old griddle have that feature? No. Did the kids ever complain about eating cold pancakes? No. Conclusion: Unnecessary feature (and expense). In the end, I lost out and mom got the $39 pancake griddle for her birthday. Now, every Sunday morning, I see her face beaming with confidence and joy as she cooks breakfast for her loving brood. She would have never been able to draw this kind of perpetual bliss from some dumb old trip to Chicago.
However, when it comes to adult birthdays, I tend to be far less enthused about all the pomp and circumstance of the celebration and my choice of gifts transition from the “wants” of childhood to the more practical “needs” of adulthood. So where is all this going?
I was recently in a discussion with a friend of mine and I asked what his plans were for the weekend. “I’m going to Chicago.” My friend travels quite a bit for work so it was my assumption this was another one of those trips… long on work, short on fun. After further inquiry I learned he was taking his significant other (read: live together but still too nervous to actually get married) to Chicago to celebrate her birthday. I know it’s a violation of the unwritten gift-discussion protocol, but I had to know… so I asked: “How much is that costing you?” He explained he got a really good deal on a package that included airfare, hotel, meal vouchers, show tickets and a couple of gift cards… $600. They’re DINKs (Dual Income No Kids) so money’s not an issue for them. But still…
The instant I heard this panic set in. My mind started to scheme a way to keep my wife from finding out there are guys out there who would spend this kind of money, and maybe even more importantly, give up an entire weekend, just for a birthday. What excuse could I offer to her for this completely irrational behavior? How could I get her to understand that practical, reasonably priced gifts, like the $39 pancake griddle I bought here last year from Target was MUCH better than that gift my friend had given.
I know, I would just be honest and share my logic with her. In guy world, the measure of love when it comes to gift giving is practicality. The more the gift fills a “need” instead of a “want” the greater the display of love and devotion. It might work. We have four kids. My wife makes breakfast for us every Sunday morning… a tradition she started many years ago. About two months before her birthday the pancake griddle broke, leaving her to deal with the arduous task of cooking pancakes for six in fry pans. This doubled the time it took her to cook breakfast and, quite honestly, the pancakes just didn’t taste as good (which led to the withholding of accolades from the family units about how good breakfast tasted). I could see the angst on her face every Sunday. It was painful to see each time I came into the kitchen to refill my coffee mug. The gift of a pancake griddle would surely score a victory on so many levels. Mom=happier. Kids=happier. Dad=Hero. See, it was an easy decision.
To instill my ethic of practical gift buying, I took the kids with me to Target to pick out this culinary device of family pleasure. As we perused the selection, they locked in on the Black & Decker Family Sized Griddle. It was entirely too large for the counter space we have to work with (read: too expensive). If I was going to be that extravigant, I'd might as well just take her on a trip to Chicago! I tried to convince the kids that the Kitchen Selectives electric griddle would suffice and would be a much more practical purchase (read: cheaper). I told them it was much more in-line with what mom would like. Debate ensued. They argued “but the larger model has a warming tray underneath to keep the pancakes hot until they are ready to be eaten. Did the old griddle have that feature? No. Did the kids ever complain about eating cold pancakes? No. Conclusion: Unnecessary feature (and expense). In the end, I lost out and mom got the $39 pancake griddle for her birthday. Now, every Sunday morning, I see her face beaming with confidence and joy as she cooks breakfast for her loving brood. She would have never been able to draw this kind of perpetual bliss from some dumb old trip to Chicago.
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