DISPATCHER: "9-1-1. What is your emergency?"
ME: "Uh, yah... can you send the fashion police to the Caribou coffee shop on Lexington Avenue."
DISPATCHER: "What seems to be the problem there, sir?"
ME: "It's hard to describe, but I see a man wearing red and white tiger-striped shorts."
DISPATCHER: "I'm sorry... did you say red and white tiger-striped shorts?"
ME: "Yes, Ma'am."
DISPATCHER: "Does he seem to be in distress?"
ME: "No, but everyone else in the the coffee shops is gagging on their lattes. I'm afraid if the fashion police do not show up soon you're going to have a very large mess on your hands. I'm talking casualties... LOTS of causalities."
DISPATCHER: "Ok... calm down sir. You seem to be distraught."
ME: "Listen lady... you would be distraught too if you had to look at this. Wait, I'll take a picture on my camera phone and send it to you."
[pause for taking and sending of said picture]
DISPATCHER: "Oh my God! It's worse than I could have imagined. Evacuate the store immediately and we'll send out the SWAT team."
___________________
Here's a little fashion tip for Mr. Tiger Pants... If you lose a bet with your buddies and you have to wear a pair of shorts that look like these to pay off your debt... stay out of public places. If I owned a Taser gun, I would have dropped you right then and there.
ME: "It's hard to describe, but I see a man wearing red and white tiger-striped shorts."
DISPATCHER: "I'm sorry... did you say red and white tiger-striped shorts?"
ME: "Yes, Ma'am."
DISPATCHER: "Does he seem to be in distress?"
ME: "No, but everyone else in the the coffee shops is gagging on their lattes. I'm afraid if the fashion police do not show up soon you're going to have a very large mess on your hands. I'm talking casualties... LOTS of causalities."
DISPATCHER: "Ok... calm down sir. You seem to be distraught."
ME: "Listen lady... you would be distraught too if you had to look at this. Wait, I'll take a picture on my camera phone and send it to you."
[pause for taking and sending of said picture]
DISPATCHER: "Oh my God! It's worse than I could have imagined. Evacuate the store immediately and we'll send out the SWAT team."
___________________
Here's a little fashion tip for Mr. Tiger Pants... If you lose a bet with your buddies and you have to wear a pair of shorts that look like these to pay off your debt... stay out of public places. If I owned a Taser gun, I would have dropped you right then and there.
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