TMI... TMI...!

I was sitting in a cafeteria this morning. It wasn’t very busy. I was multitasking (eating breakfast and reading). At the next table were three men. I wasn’t eavesdropping on their conversation, but it was quiet in there and it was hard not to overhear their conversation. One started to share a story, in vivid detail, about a problem he had with an infected tooth and how it required a root canal. He did not spare any of the details. I’m not a big fan of dental work and it was not a pleasant conversation to listen to. I contemplated moving, but I didn’t.

After he finished his story, there was a lull in the conversation and then, as if there was a contest to outdo each other, another fellow decided he’d tell the story of his recent medical procedure, a proctoscopy (a.k.a. the garden hose up the back-side procedure). As he started into the story, my brain was screaming “TMI… TMI! Too Much Information!” Why in God’s name would a man share, with his friends, in a public place, the intimate details of this painful experience at the proctologist’s office? And while I'm on the subject... what possesses a person to want to be that kind of doctor? Of all the doctors you can be...? I hope it pays well. For me... there's not enough money in the world. Anyhow... back on point... if there is one...

There should be a protocol for what topics can be discussed in a public place where food is served. Suddenly, the bagel sitting in front of me conjured up images of body parts of which I do not speak. I couldn’t take it any more. I had to leave… and the bagel went in the trash.